Let's break it down

To start off I noticed that I am a very stubborn person. I HATE hearing "no". Its like that word is a high pitched noise and I can't stand it under no circumstance. The feeling of me being self sufficient makes me feel more at peace with my self. There are some women for example that depend on their husbands or "male friends" for certain needs and as a white girl would say " I just can't even". As if you really lose your ability to "even". The point is that I relate to those other types of woman that feel the need to provide everything for themselves and refuse to weaken themselves by depending on others. That's the way it should be in my eyes. You should set certain goals for yourself and rise to the top and achieve a good life for yourself not for anyone else.

So work it. Be tough but fab at the same time.

Recently I got a job at sears and it seems like everyone in my family has a problem with it and I just don''t see why. One of the things on my happiness list was receiving my paycheck. Not so much for the money but because I love the feeling that I earned what I'm getting no one is simply giving it to me. I just hated relying for my parents for everything. I dreaded asking my parents for twenty bucks every time I wanted to go to the movies with my friends. My friends often nag me sometimes about it too saying that I'm always busy and can't hang out with them because of work. At least when I do go out with them I won't be broke. My parents tell me that I don't "NEED" to work and they simply don't understand that the reason I want to work is not only for the extra money in my pocket.

I recently got off a relationship and I'll be honest and say I really liked this boy. So me going back and forth between school and work just gets my mind off of it. I refuse to stay home and cry. I would rather do something that is good for me and eventually benefit me in the future. I know I will get over him eventually and I know that there is other guys out there, but i'm not over it yet and well I refuse to bring myself down because of him.

No matter what is killing me inside, I will stay smiling on the outside and no one needs to know I'm not happy otherwise. A lot of people will kill to see you down but no honey I'll stay at the top. I have learned that just as you have people that care about you, you will also have people that can't stand to see you doing good. A lot of times it is hard to stay with that mind set. Having supportive people to have around you helps a lot. At least I know that I have people to rely on and they make me happy and forget that anything is even wrong.